Crikey!

Today I come to you from the vast jungle also known as Kelsey's room. Today she left me home while she went to Student Council and I, Snappy Cap, reporting for the Snapple Observer, promise you that this is by far the craziest sight I've seen yet. Crikey! It's the prowling senile cat, in his natural habitat. He stares at me knowingly, his yellow orb-looking eyes boring through my very aluminum being. He's a natural hunter; don't underestimate him. He knows a play-toy from a meal. And sometimes doesn't care which you are. This is Snappy Cap, Snapple Observer, signing off.